7 things that you "must" ask before committing yourself
After a stable and loving courtship, the next step that all lovers want is to reach marriage, a commitment that unites them to share their life and projects with their partner.
Researchers John and David Gallacher of the University of Cardiff in Wales say that on average, married people live longer, enjoy better mental and physical health. The more commitment there is to the couple, the greater the benefit.
It is true that in marriage there are difficulties and stress, therefore, the Welsh researchers stress the need to choose the partner well, both physical and emotional health.
Since this decision determines your future, psychologists and therapists recommend reflecting very well before venturing. Below we share 7 questions you should ask yourself before committing yourself to your partner.
All about family, habits and character
For those who are about to undertake the commitment of marriage, Walter Riso, expert in relationships, suggests before giving the "YES", ask yourself questions about him, his family and friends. Clearing all doubt will make you happier.
1. What it brings you That it contributes and complements interesting experiences to your life is essential, as much in the personal thing, as in the professional thing and familiar. The question is: does it bring you something new?
Gary W. Lewandowski, associate professor of psychology at Monmouth University in New Jersey, says that when you gain many experiences and new goals as a result of your relationship there are great possibilities to forge a happier and longer lasting relationship .
2. True support. Is this when you need it? This implies that this at all times, both good and bad. Riso assures that it does not help that when you need your partner does not appear by any side, that does not give you the attention or real help in crisis circumstances.
3. Family. Do you like your family? It is basic that you maintain a relationship of cordiality and respect with them. There are many events in which the family coincides and if you do not get along with them, in the long run it generates problems.
The ideal in any couple is a good relationship with both families, this will avoid problems and discussions. It is necessary an attitude of respect towards them, their customs and way of life, accept them as they are; treat them with affection; Do not try to impress them and do not compare, advises Trinidad Aparicio Perez, clinical psychologist at the University of Granada, Spain.
4. Friends. For your love to last, your partner's environment is basic, this implies having your own space but also sharing and here fit your friendships. The question is, do you like your friends?
If you do not like them, you can generate tension and arguments that could put your relationship at risk.
Robin Dunbar, researcher at the University of Oxford, after an investigation reaffirms that to make a man happy with his environment, life, family and recover faster from a disease he needs to spend more time with his friends.
5. Is active. For your marriage to be prosperous, see if your boyfriend is satisfied with what he has or seeks options to improve their living conditions, so you must question: Are you an entrepreneur? When they seek to get ahead with common interests, they achieve great goals.
6. Vices Living with a person with an addiction to a substance, alcohol or gambling, becomes exhausting for the relationship; They end up affecting feelings and ending patience. For that reason, he observes questions. Do you have any vice?
Specialists in behavioral sciences confirm that customs, whether good or bad, are learned and rooted with the passage of time.
While Yusi Cervantes Leyzaola, psychologist of the National Commission against Addictions, notes that countless families become dysfunctional because of the addictions of the couple. The most obvious are alcohol, drugs, but also vices to work, television, technology and sex.
7. Physical. It is essential to ask: Do I really like your physique? The answer is decisive so that the relationship lasts.
Other topics that should be reflected on is the treatment you have towards others. Observe how you go and appreciate when you receive a service or receive something.
Also how you collaborate economically when you need it, if you are tacano or interested. The details should also value it, this will give more emotion to the relationship and makes you feel unique.
Remember that commitment must be a stage that is lived and fully enjoyed because it brings indescribable emotions. Love is something more than marriage, it is sharing, living together and trusting. Live it like a dream!